


Taking Back What's Hers

by greengianturanus



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Gen, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-11 13:56:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greengianturanus/pseuds/greengianturanus
Summary: Pidge was used to her teammates being overprotective, but when she is injured, she can't help but feel like she isn't good enough.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for quite a while, but I decided to actually type it up for Voltron Angst Week on Tumblr. So here we go.

“Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing?”

“You’ve got someone on your tail,” Keith warned a little too late through the small ear piece. Pidge resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she turned around to face a tall, green alien. She didn’t have time for this. Get in, find any information you can, and get out. That was her mission.

“Uh, thanks,” she replied awkwardly as she turned around to keep walking. When Pidge had first heard about the mission, she hadn’t exactly jumped at the opportunity. Originally, Lance had been the one who was to take it up (the boy loved some dramatic-fratinize-and-double-cross-the-enemy work), but then Coran pointed out that the baddies they were after would be less suspicious of women, which made total sense. That narrowed down the options to Allura and Pidge, and Allura had to stay at the castle to do her whole princess business, so that left Pidge to the job.

She had almost complained and asked if there was anyone else who could possible do it, but then, she had seen the look on Shiro’s face. It was full of concern, and she could tell that he was about to ask the same thing that she was. So, instead, she immediately accepted. His mouth had closed, and his lips pressed into a thin line.

“You sure you’re up for it, Pidge?” It was his way of (not so) discreetly asking her to back out.

“Of course,” she finalized with a tight smile. ’Geez, Shiro, I’m not a little kid anymore,’ she had thought. Honestly, they had been at the whole Voltron thing for, what? Four years now? Pidge knew that he meant well, but his worry often came across as doubt to her. She had seen some form of that look in all of he teammates faces, just because she was the youngest and the smallest, so she took every chance that she had to prove to them that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. That’s why she was so determined to complete this mission.

Then again, Pidge hadn’t exactly known that the mission would involve a well-fitted, full-length romper and the space equivalent of a dirty bar. Or trying to get rid of annoying creeps that kept following you while you were on an important mission.

She and a few of her fellow paladins had been stationed around the bar in disguise. Each had a tiny, almost undetectable, ear piece with a strong microphone that could pick up any conversations they were having. There was a way to activate and deactivate them, so thankfully, no one had to listen to Lance hit on every space chick there.

Not finding what she wanted in the actual bar, she had snuck into a connecting hallway and began snooping around, when the alien that was now pursuing her had appeared. She had made eye contact with him a few times in the bar, but she had continued to ignore him, despite the fact that he was openly staring at her and obviously trying to get her attention. Ugh.

“What are you doing over here, honey? The party’s out there,” he said, gesturing back in the direction of the bar. Pidge finally turned around completely to face him. It was obvious that she wouldn’t be able to get anything done with him watching, so she had better deal with him first. Now that she was looking directly at him, she studied him more thoroughly. The alien was relatively humanoid. Awfully tall. He probably had a foot or two on Shiro. Pretty scrawny by Earth standards. He had atrocious claws at the end of his fingers. Acid green skin, eyes that were entirely royal blue, and lavender hair made up the rest of the characteristics that Pidge took in.

“Uh… Just looking for a place to cool down.” Pidge forced a small sheepish smile. ’Bad excuse,’ she noted, but if it made him go away, she didn’t really care. No dice, unfortunately.

“Why don’t you and I sneak off and find a place to cool down together?” he said smoothly, taking a step toward her.  
“Pidge, is everything alright?” Shiro’s voice sounded in her ear. He was stationed back at the ship with Allura and Coran, watching over the operation. Now Pidge really wanted to roll her eyes.

“No, no, that’s okay. I’m okay.” She answered both questions at once. She tried to give the alien another smile, but it lacked sincerity and actual effort, so she’s sure it came across as a sneer. Oops. But oh well. Pidge had more important things to do at the moment than cater to some random alien’s ego. She turned to go down the hallway once again, expecting the alien to leave.

It all happened so fast.

Long, slender, green fingers wrapped around her wrist, and before she could react, she was turned around once again and shoved roughly against the wall. She grunted as the air was knocked out of her. Vaguely, she could hear voices call her name through the com. They started out questioning and quickly progressed to panicked. “Hey!-” she tried to object, but sandpaper lips were forced against hers. A gurgled whimper escaped her mouth, and then she clearly heard Shiro shouting through the ear piece.

“Get her out of there!”

Then, the alien reached one of his hands up and used his long nails to rip through the top part of her romper. The action exposed her breasts and managed to scratch down the middle of them, leaving long cuts in the wake. She cried out at the sting of the wound. Just then, he suddenly jerked back. No, wait, he didn’t jerk back. Someone had jerked him back themselves. Keith, to be exact. And Keith was beating the hell out of him.

She saw Hunk and Lance racing down the hall towards her. Only then did she think to try to cover herself. The adrenaline and shock that had coursed through her veins finally waned and humiliation took their place. Tears pricked her eyes, and that was when the burning started. The gashes in her chest felt like they were on fire. Pidge doubled over, and she was screaming. Screaming like someone was killing her, because that was what it felt like.

All eyes turned towards her, and Keith paused in his pummeling, only to ask, “What did you do to her?!” Lance and Hunk finally reached her just as she hit the ground, and Lance wrapped the jacket from his disguise around her. Hunk pulled it down slightly, careful not to expose her again, but trying to examine the wound. Shiro was still calling through the com and was becoming more frustrated and panicked since no one was answering him.

“You’ve got her?” Lance asked Hunk as the Yellow Paladin scooped Pidge up in his arms. He nodded and took off. Hunk heard Lance calling out to Keith as they fled the scene. Whether it was to calm Keith down or aid him in his fight, Hunk didn’t know.

“Shiro, I’m on my way back with Pidge. She’s hurt, so have a healing pod prepped.” Hunk spoke into his com. If Pidge had been able to pay attention to anything other than the pain, she would have been impressed by Hunk’s coolness. After all, it’s hard to not panic when you are carrying your injured friend who is wailing like a newborn. “You’re gonna be okay, Pidge. You’re gonna be fine.” Hunk tried to console, but it wasn’t doing much to calm Pidge down.

“Burns! It burns!” she sobbed. Her breathing was growing more erratic, and her body shivered uncontrollably. It seemed like seconds and also hours before they reached the castle.

Shiro was waiting for them when they arrived and practically ripped the girl from Hunk’s hands. He sprinted the rest of the distance to the healing pod. Allura put her in the pristinely white healing suit as quickly as she could. Hunk entered the room just as they were carrying her to the healing pod. Pidge was still bawling when they propped her up inside, and they had to shut the doors quickly so that she wouldn’t fall forward. Each watched in horror as her teary eyes opened, and a shaky hand came up to the glass. Her sobs slowed as the pod sedated her, and eventually her hand slipped down by her side. With one final hiccup, Pidge closed her eyes and became very still.

\-------------------------------------------

“How is she?” Lance’s alarmed voice seemed much too loud and abrasive for the silent room. For a moment, Hunk worried that it might wake Pidge, but then he realized that it wasn’t possible with the machine sedating her. He winced as he remembered a conversation he had had with Coran not long after they had left Earth.  
“So, the healing pods… just magically heal any and every injury? Even if someone was almost dead?”

“Well, yes and no.” The Altean had answered.

“What do you mean?” Hunk pressed.

“Well, I mean that the healing pods can fix quite a few things, but… There is always a sort of ‘Point of No Return,’ so to speak. A place where you body has truly taken too much damage. So much, that the healing pod can’t fix it. Not all of it anyway. Sure, it would keep you alive, technically, but you couldn’t leave that pod without major body functions collapsing. You remain forever sedated.”

“So you’re basically stuck in a coma?” Coran had hummed in thought at the statement.

“I’ve never quite considered that, but yes, I suppose it is similar to being in a coma.”

Now, Hunk swallowed thickly at the thought of it happening to Pidge. He had seen the wounds himself. They weren’t too deep, and, while it was true that she had lost a lot of blood, he was almost sure that it wasn’t enough to kill her. But the way she had been screaming…

“She’s stable for now, and we’re running some tests, but we can’t be sure until we know exactly what we’re up against,” Allura stated as she stood and gestured towards the unconscious alien who was under Keith’s custody at the moment. “Is this who did it?” she asked, her voice hardening. The boys nodded solemnly.  
“A Zehiran! I’ve never seen one in person!” Coran spoke as he accessed the castle’s data base on other alien races and planets.

“A Zehiran?” Lance asked.

“Yes, a more-or-less peaceful race that hails from the planet Zehirox,” Coran began to read off the information that the castle had to offer. “They’re known for their beautiful blue eyes and their sharp claws which excrete a powerful toxin. The toxin is said to be excruciating, has been sold on the black market, and is often used in small amounts as a means of torture in interrogations situations.”

"Oh, Pidge," Shiro whispered. All of their eyes turned towards the green paladin. Her facial expression was twisted in to a grimace and her lips moved ever so slightly, as if she were trying to speak to them. Nightmares. Shiro was sure of it. He had had his fair share of them while in the healing pods. They all had.

Allura was the next to speak. "Keith, Lance, come with me. We'll be taking care of him." Allura's voice was filled with enough venom to rival the Zehiran. Then she turned towards Hunk and Shiro, speaking more gently. "You two should go change and get washed up." They looked down to see that they still had blood stains of their armor which were quickly drying. The paladins hesitated for a moment, not wanting to leave Pidge's side for a moment, but they quickly saw the logic in it. Allura was right. There were still things to be done.

Just was they were about to walk out the door, a sharp ping resonated through the room.

"Wait!" Coran exclaimed. Everyone tensed and turned immediately. Multiple light screens had shot up in front of Coran and he studied each of them thoroughly. Finally, he stepped back slightly, still looking at the screens just to be sure. "She's... She's going to be okay." Instantly, everyone released the breath that they had been holding. With that assurance, they left the room feeling only slightly more relaxed.

\-------------------------------------------  
Despite the fact that Pidge would be fine, that didn't stop any of the paladins from returning to the healing pods after they had showered and changed. It had become a sort of tradition. Whenever one of them would have a close call, the rest would remain by the healing pods, at least for the first few hours after the process had started. Sometimes, they would shuffle around, go get some food, go get some sleep in an actual bed, but for the most part, they remained faithfully beside their fallen companion.

After a scare like this, everyone silently agreed to stay the night in the healing pod chamber.

Pidge finally woke up about a day later. The door to the pod deteriorated with the hiss of artificial air. Shiro and the others were right there to catch her. They each greeted her in their own way, holding her close or patting her hair, confirming that she really was alright.

They explained the toxin, and they told her they had taken care of her attacker. Banished him to some prison-like planet or something like that. They didn't offer her a lot of details on the matter, and for once, Pidge didn't ask for any.

When she changed out of the healing pod suit, she studied herself in the mirror for a long time. The healing pods could fix a lot, but they couldn't take away scars. Awful, jagged scars that started a few inches below her collarbone and stretched down towards her belly button, never quite reaching it, but always coming close. The toxin had tinged the skin green, the sickening acid green that only reminded her of the alien's willingness to take what he wanted. That only reminded her of her moment of weakness.

The others seemed to notice a slight change in her attitude, but they never really mentioned it. She had grown out of her earth clothes a few months after they had become the Voltron paladins, and they had made a special stop at a space mall to find her some new ones (Allura had had a field day). Now she often only wore the shirts with collars high enough to cover her scars, but sometimes one of her teammates would catch a glimpse of one slipping in and out of hiding. She spoke less, isolated herself more. In their defense, Pidge had always been somewhat of a recluse, so they had thought that giving her some space was for the best. Surely, at some point, she would be back to the same snarky Pidge, right?

But it only got worse.  
\-------------------------------------------

Finally, one night Shiro decided that maybe he should take matters into his own hands. He found her among the stars, working with her laptop. She was near one of the castle's huge windows that opened up to show all of space and beyond. The sight of it was as foreboding as it was breath-taking. He settled down next to her. She continued typing as she waited for him to say whatever it was that he wanted, but when he remained silent, she found a good stopping place and closed her laptop.

"Hey," he smiled at her.

"Hey," she said hesitantly. They fell back into silence again, just looking out the window and taking in the sights of the heavens.

"Pidge," Shiro began after a few moments, but then he stopped again, considering something. "Katie, you know that if there's anything bothering you, anything at all... you can always-" And, God, he felt so stupid, so basic. Here he was, trying to comfort her, and he was saying the most generic, cliche things you could imagine. Usually he felt like he knew the right things to say, but this time, he was drawing blank after blank, trying (and failing) to find words that didn't sound like they were from a Hallmark movie script.

"Shiro," she interrupted, probably to escape whatever awkward conversation they were about to have. "I know. You don't have to tell me that. I'm fine." But Shiro knew better than that. Something in him snapped, and all of his plans to not directly address the cause of her behavior were thrown out that huge window and into deep space.

"No, Katie, you're not fine. You think we haven't noticed that something has changed in you since the attack? Do you know that we're worried about you? That we want to help, but we don't know how? If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay, but please don't lie to me. Please, don't tell me that you're fine when I know that you aren't."

Pidge had stared at him wide eyed throughout his small speech, but she quickly broke eye contact as he finished. She looked out at the stars, hugging her knees to her chest, and subconsciously, she pulled the collar of her shirt up a little. It was a nervous habit that now occurred every time she was uncomfortable with something.

"Shiro... I-" She had almost dismissed him again, but for whatever reason, she thought better than to do that. She couldn't say that she was headed in one certain direction. She didn't really know what she was saying, but she felt like she needed to say something. "When that Zehiran attacked me..."

"You know you're safe, right? That I will never let something like that happen to you ever again," Shiro promised. Pidge whipped her head around to glare at him.

"Urgh, but that's the problem!" Shiro stared back wide-eyed, slightly gaping at her outburst. "You all treat me like I'm in constant need of protection and care. Like I can't do anything on my own! I know I'm the smallest. I know I'm the youngest. I know that you all mean well, but it drove me nuts! Up until that mission, I was so sure that I could handle things by myself. But now..." Pidge turned back toward the window now, staring at the stars as her eyebrows pinched together sadly. "When that Zehiran attacked me... Shiro, I didn't do anything." Her eyes were tearing up now, and it was taking everything in her not to cry. "I know self defense. I've been a paladin of Voltron for four years now, but I didn't do anything. I was frozen. Why didn't I do something, Shiro?"

For a moment, he remained silent, stunned by the confession that had come tumbling out of his companion. Then suddenly, he was upon her, hugging her close. "Oh, Katie. You are so much stronger than you think. I'm sorry that we treated you that way. Made you feel that way. But please, don't blame yourself for this. Every one of us have moments when we need help, and you can't be perfect all the time. This was entirely his fault, and don't let him take away your confidence. Don't let him take that from you, because that's not for him to have." By now, the girl had wrapped her arms around him as well, and she was openly sobbing into his chest. "Katie, Katie, shhh, it's alright," he murmured, petting her hair. She cried and cried and cried, Shiro holding her the whole time, and when she was done, she was exhausted.

Shiro carried her to her room that night, and as she drifted into a heavy sleep, she decided that Shiro was right.

It was time to take her confidence back.  
\-------------------------------------------

Some months later, they were visiting a planet, making arrangements to form an alliance. The planet was known for its fashion, design, and art, and the king had insisted that his finest tailors create original outfits for every one to wear to the celebration that night. Shiro and Allura had to play ambassadors, so that left the rest of the team to wonder around the city until the banquet and ball later that evening.

Everyone broke off in different directions, but Shiro had noticed that Pidge pulled aside her designer before she left the castle, and he couldn't help but wonder what she had said to them. She had gotten a lot better in the past few months. Talked more, isolated less, and she even began wearing her full wardrobe again, rather than shying away from the tops that showed the edges of her scars. And despite these improvements, Shiro still worried about her, but he tried not to make it too obvious, since he was trying to grow just like she was. After their talk that night, he had insisted that everyone lay low on the protectiveness, himself included. But that didn't mean he couldn't still worry about her or care for her. However, he soon forgot about Pidge and her designer as he was swept into the hustle and bustle of negotiating an alliance.

Hours later, he was wearing his new suit, and drinking some sweet nectar that was indigenous to the planet. The evening had been a blur of conversation and people, and he had only just managed to get a moment of peace and quiet by the refreshment table. He spotted Lance talking to Hunk and decided to join them. But as he approached, he realized that there was something off about them. They didn't look troubled, just... Surprised?

"Hey," Shiro greeted. "You guys enjoying the party?" Shiro was expecting the generic response, but Lance, ever so eloquent, got right down to business.

"Did you know that Pidge got a tattoo today?" Lance asked. Shiro had been in the middle of sipping his drink and had to stop himself from spitting it out. Instead, he froze, and slowly lowered the cup from his mouth. His eyes had narrowed, and now they slowly turned towards Lance.

"She what?" That had to be the last thing that Shiro had ever expected to hear. A million different bad choices raced through his head. Not that he believed Pidge was stupid enough to get an bad tattoo, but he was the designated Space Dad™. She could have told him what she planning at the very least.

"Yeah! She did! Look, there she is now!" Hunk exclaimed. Shiro whipped around in the direction that Hunk was pointing, and what he saw made his jaw drop. Pidge strutted forward with her head held high. She was wearing a flowing, emerald-green dress, but the part that really amazed him was the plunging neckline that revealed her scars. Except they weren't just scars anymore. The jagged green lines had been transformed into vines and leaves and stems that hosted an assortment of vibrant flowers. Shiro recognized some flowers, such as a few white carnations, and the yellowy-white of meadowsweet. There was a stalk of soft pink flowers that reminded him of snapdragons, and two or three large pink blossoms.

Later, she would tease him for being so worried that she had gotten a tattoo, and she would remind that, yes, she was in fact, eighteen now, and even if she wasn't, they weren't on earth anymore, so who was gonna stop her? He would insist that he wasn't that worried (which would, of course, be a lie), but he would still half-heartedly chastise her for not just giving him a heads up. But if he was being honest he wasn't the least bit angry with her, because as she strode toward them, he felt nothing but unabashed pride for the green paladin. "That's my girl," he would murmur.

She had won.

She had taken her confidence back.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! I feel like it's a little cliche and what not, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.
> 
> Sorry if the formatting is wonky. I'm new to this, and still trying to figure it out. 
> 
> Pidge’s dress was inspired by Lupita Wyong’o’s Oscar dress from 2014
> 
> Flower used are  
> -white carnations for innocence  
> -meadowsweet for uselessness  
> -gladiolus and protea for strength and courage


End file.
